I said I would never be a blogger…
But as I sit here with all my children in bed sleeping I have the urge to write.
The husband and I decided 2 children were all we ever wanted. We loved Aaron and Emily and they were perfect for us.
We had everything going for us. I was very career oriented, I worked long hours I studied at the same time. There were never enough hours in a day to achieve what I needed to achieve.
We were determined to keep working, make more money and give our 2 children a good lifestyle.
But something happened.
My so very dear father in law suddenly had a catastrophic stroke, he couldn’t communicate, talk or eat. My world was shattered, our close and cohesive family was lost in grief for knowing our main father figure would never talk to us again.
He worked his whole life, from a milk delivery boy through the freezing roads of Edinburgh before school, right up to retirement. He worked long and hard to give his kids a good lifestyle.
Just like I was doing up to that moment.
But there he was, no hard work, no money mattered anymore, only the love of his family, his children and grandchildren. Family was all he had left and all that really ever mattered.
I realised I no longer wanted to miss out on my kids by working too much, that being a mum was the best thing and it all changed inside me.
I then stumbled across a blog online when I was keeping company to my dear father in law in hospital, a blog called edspire.
There this wonderful mummy Jennie shared the story of her precious Matilda May who died of SIDS at 9 months. Reading through her posts it made me realise how much my children mattered to me and looking over at my dying father in law I saw how fragile life was.
At the end of my life I knew I would never wish I had worked more, I would be more comfortable saying I am happy I spent more time with my children.
That night, inspired by Jennie, I knew I wanted more children.
I went home that morning and spoke to the husband, he felt the same, we wanted more children.
We got a positive pregnancy test the following month.
The twist and rather magical point of this story is that Jennie, the blogger mummy who inspired me to have another baby, announced she was pregnant too. We had the same due date, the same first day of last period. We were both having baby girls.
I believe that was a sign that somehow unbeknown to Jennie, this baby of ours was linked to her story.
My father in law stayed in hospital for 9 agonising months. He died just a short few weeks before Isla was born.
As you know, we went on to have another baby, our rainbow baby Isaac.
Tonight I read Jennie’s blog, she is now pregnant again, she said she wasn’t sure there was much point in her blogging anymore . So I am writing this to tell this wonderful strong woman… You touched my life in a way you will never comprehend. Please keep blogging xx